Dont forget the Angels

Just some old quotes I found in one of my old notebooks.

In this dim world of clouding cares,
we rarely know, till wilder'd eyes 
see white wings lessening up
the skies, the angels with us 
unaware.  
(Gerald Massey)
(1828-1907)

He shall give 
his angels charge
over thee, to keep
thee in all thy ways.
Psalm 91:11

I have seen angels by the sick one's pillow;
Theirs was the soft tone and the soundless tread,
where smitten hearts were drooping like the willow,
they stood between the living and the dead. (Unknown)

Beside each man who's born on earth a guardian angel
takes his stand, to guide him through life's mysteries. 
(Menander of Athens)Greek poet and play writer.(C.343-291.B.C) 

Four angels to my bed,
four angels round my head,
one to watch and one to pray
and two to rear my soul away.
(Thomas Ady) 
17th century English writer

when tempted, evoke your 
angel, he is more eager 
to help you than you are to 
be helped! Ignore the devil, 
and not be afraid of him.
He trembles and flees at your
 guardian angels sight.
(St.John Basco 1845-1888)

There are angels, that attend unseen each one of us,
and in great books record our good and evil deeds.
he who writes down the good ones, after every action, closes his volume, and ascends with it to god, the other keeps his dreadful day, which doing, the record of action fades away, and leaves 
line of white across the page.
(Henry W. Longfellow American poet 1807-1882) 

Angels.... with beautiful wings of silk & crowns of baby rosebuds... all live together in a castle...and when the angels want to go some place they just whistle and a cloud floats to the castle door and picks them up and the angels ride through the sky, riding the cloud like a magic carpet under the moon and through the stars until they're right above us. That's how they can look down and see if were alright, and sometimes even send us messages.
(The Little Princess) 



Stone walls do not a prison make
nor iron bars a cage;
Minds inncocent and quiet take 
that for a heritage; If I have 
Freedom in my love, and in soul
am free, angels alone that soar above 
enjoy such liberty.
(Richard Lovelace)
(1618-1657)English poet. 

Self is the only prison that can ever find the soul;
love is the only angel who can bid gates unroll;
and when he comes to call thee arise and follow fast;
its way may lie though darkness, but leader to light at last.
(Henry Van Dyke 1822-1891 writer)

There is music even in the beauty 
and the silent note which cupid strikes 
far sweeter than the sound of an instrument.
(Thomas Browne)

I want to be an angel
and with the angels stand,
a crown upon my forehand 
a harp within my hand. 
(Vrania Bailey 1820-1882)

Let but the voice 
engender the string
and angels will come
while thou dost sing.
(Robert Herrick 1591-1674)  

Stay in the light 
and on the path
for the in-between 
seek to devour your soul
and only stepping forward
can keep them at bay. 
(Lily Kann) 

Definition of an angel

one of a class of spiritual beings; a celestial attendant of God. In medieval angelology, angels constituted the lowest of the nine celestial orders (seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominations or dominions, virtues, powers, principalities or princedoms, archangels, and angels).

a conventional representation of such a being, in human form, with wings, usually in white robes.

a messenger, especially of God..

a person who performs a mission of God or acts as if sent by God: an angel of mercy.

a person having qualities generally attributed to an angel, as beauty, purity, or kindliness.

Childhood Dream 2#

POOF where am I?

     Third grade can be a tough challenge for a kid to go through. Many of the kids are finding where they fit in at the school social wise. I didn't fit in to any category. I had friends who were cool and popular and friends that were nerdy and geeky but made me feel wanted and cared about. they came to my parties and they invited me to play stupid playground games. there was a lot of stress in elementary school. It was tough when you looked a little nerdy as well. glasses and braises to boot. I went to bed that night and found myself in a strange dream. The shower was warm and I stepped out putting a cozy towel around myself. I went to grab the shiny gold doorknob but I felt a little funny about it. I just laughed and twisted the knob and stepped outside the bathroom. When the room came into focus I was in my third grade classroom. all the students were staring at me and the teacher giving a lesson stopped to stair. I looked down and I was still in my Towel. I was so embarrassed. How did I even walk into my classroom when I was just in my bathroom. I quickly turned around to find the door. The bathroom door was gone. I ran out of the classroom while kids were pointing and laughing. I ran down the hall to find the first door to the outside. I ran and ran trying to hold my towel and make it to home. I felt red all over and not from the hot shower.
I woke up and thought not to take a shower this morning.

     I had this dream the night of the day I did get embarrassed by that class.  I was sitting in the back row when my friends mother came in to give her, her forgotten lunch. I said hello Sister Elm. Then all the kids laughed and said you call Chrisy's mother Sister. They all laughed and whispered to each other and stared at me and some even pointed. I just thought to myself isn't that her name? I just didn't understand. It was only a little later that I found that only my church called other members by sister and brother then there last name. I should have understood that from calling teachers Mrs. and Mr. instead of Sister and Brother.That night I had that dream and thought of a ridiculous reason to be embarrassed.  Childhood is hard but so is life.

My Dreams #1

The very first dream i can ever remember from my child hood..... All my dreams will be in a story format.

Monster in the stall.....
       The Jazz game was so loud in my little kindergarten ears. I covered them from the loud noise. the tall men were running back and forth throwing a basketball to each other and trying to score points by tossing them into the net. My father sat right beside me shouting commands the team would never listen to.  He stood up and started yelling at some of the players for missing a shot. I never understood this game and why the fans always got so angry at the team they loved. My family was all at the game enjoying the fun of family togetherness. My mother was sitting on my left side and I tugged on her shirt to get her attention. "I need to pee." She just laughed and told my dad she would take me to the restroom. All of a sudden we were in this tunnel. We wondered for what seemed too long for my little bladder to handle. We finally found a very large bathroom with many stalls and sinks. The floor was tiled and shiny. It was the most cleanest bathroom I have ever seen. Then I saw it. Under a stall was a pair of giant harry feet with big claws scratching the tiles. We started running back down the tunnel. The echos of basketballs hitting the gym floor was pounding in my ears as we ran. When we finally reached the end a giant hole lay above us to the stadium seats. My mom hoisted me up and I crawled out. She announced she would find another way out since she could reach the hole and climb out. The dream fated as I saw her running down the tunnel. I awoke with fresh tears.

     This dream was one of my earliest and now that I think about seeing monster feet in a bathroom stall I just laugh out loud to myself. 

Depression

Depression

I cant see much
This forest is so dense and dark
The trees are towering over me
watching me with malicious eyes
I can't see the distance
But I must keep walking
The shadows are following me
screaming into thick dark fog
encircling me in it's toxic venom
The howls are slowly crawling
down my icy spine
my body its frozen
stunned by sticky webs
trying to encase me
I must keep walking
i cant see much
the darkness is slowly closing in.
the shadows are surrounding me
condemning me
to the forest
inviting me to stay
i must keep walking
shrieking banshies above
singing their ear-piercing tunes
the branches are outstretched
wrapping their claws to darken
my path
i must not wander
but I'm already lost
I must stay on the path
the distance is ahead
the gravel is thick with frost
my fingertips turn a sickly purple
my eyes almost shut
the wind is hard against me
i cant see the distance
the voices are whispering in my ear
telling me of lies i wish were true
i must keep walking
the ground is chilled and solid stone
my feet ache with every step
shouting at me to stop
my damaged heart cant take much more
but i must keep walking
the distance inst too far.  
my discomfort is my relief
my pain wont keep me here
my lungs are full of acid smoke
the shadows are suffocating me
eating me whole
my breaths are short
my mind is clogged
my legs buckle and i fall
i fall into a deep dark pit
a pit of utter despair 
the darkness is swallowing
its almost has a hold
its so far
the whispers, the screams
the trees and eyes that follow
the shadows are calling me
I feel solid and heavy
im sinking
i cant breath
drowning in filthy muck
the eyes are watching
waiting for the end
But I cant stop
the distance is near
the pit is no more
my hands feel steel
i was lost
i cant see anymore
but i can feel the rod
its on the path
the distance is close
then loud laughter
a tall building set far off course
there wanting
they call me by name
the distance is dark
but must keep walking
the laughter turns a wicked grin
taunting me and continuing the lies
they turn to shadows once again
the eyes keep watching
until utter darkness
no vision
just voices
nashing
crying
complete sorrow
despair crawls up my back
like a snake ready to strike
i must keep walking
the steel is in my hands
blind but knowing
i continue
beaten and broken
hurt and cold
lost but hopeful
faith keeps me whole

the darkness is unfolding
tiny

glorious

light

streams into the wood
a glow so small but filling
my legs are weak and wounded
my hands are stretching
my hands are pleading
my eyes are opening
my mind unwinding
the light is bright and wanting
I cant stop
the distance is here
I am home

LETTERS of Deception

A Deceivers Mask

Friends can hurt you the most
Friends can cheat
Friends can change
Friends can Hate
Friends know truths
Friends tell lies
Friends bring gossip
into our lives
Friends are pretenders
Friends are Deceivers
Friends are the best storytellers
Friends are Frauds
Friends are Fools
Friends know you most
Friends are Fakes
Friends pretend
Friends take away
Friends keep 
Friends steal
Those type of friends are not Real
They were never your friend
They only abused
They take advantage
They use you up
They wear you out
They turn against you
Friends are Selfish
They are Self-centered
Self- seeking
Self-absorbed
Egotistical
Egocentric
Greedy
Venal
Materialistic
and Cruel.
They robe you while your blind 
They are stuck in the past
and wont let go
They justify wrong doings
and continue on there misguided path
they listen to abusers
They live in lies
They are forgotten from my mind
They once seemed true
They once seemed to love
They once seemed a Friend
but they were never in the first place
They only pretended
They only lied for gain
They love living in pain
They love Pitty
They only use you for there own selfish benefits
then throw you away
but i guess in the begging they were never your friend
in the first place.- Just a friend in a deceivers Mask

Rewritten song - somebody that I used to know...

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so depressed you could die
Told myself that you could change your ways
But I felt so hopeless trying to help you
But that was you and it's an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when  I found that you liked it this way and it could not make sense
When you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I believed you
But you didn't have to cut us off
Make out like it’s all about you and we were all nothing
And I don't even need your love
you treat me like  garbage and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friend collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
you had me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
But your still hung up on the past and you’ll never know anyone else’s feelings
And  you didn't have to cut us off
Make us out like it never happened and that we were all nothing
And I don't even need your love
you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friend  manipulate you then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though

I’m tired up picking up your pieces and let you try to fix it yourself
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

But I don’t want to let it end this way

I wish you could admit to all of your selfish ways

But you’re still hung up on the past and I guess it’ll always be that way

And I don’t even need your love but I will always love you.

 You’re still hung up on pity

And you’ll never care more about others than yourself

Because it always been about you

And that’s all you’ve ever cared about

You have never showed you loved

And nothing was ever truly good enough

You don’t even realize how good you really had it

I’ve always cared, I’ve always loved, I’ve always showed and I’ve always been there

But you don’t even care.  You’ve never treated me like a friend or anyone else important

All you did was use me for you selfish advantages and now that you’re done

You’ve thrown me in the trash and that’s something I’ll have to live with

I never thought you could be so Cruel

But now I see you’ll probably never change

You like pity, you like reflecting on your past, you like it to be all about you.

Don’t get me wrong I still love you…. But you’ve never listened when I’ve tried to tell you

And even now after reading this, thinking that maybe you could understand but you still feel justified in making these wrong decisions.