I've been thinking about Change.

I've been thinking of change a lot lately. It's been a long time since my friends and I were in seventh grade class together writing notes to each other and telling secrets and of-course ignoring our teacher and skipping to the end of the books to find all the answers. There was once five in our little group of friends throughout Jr. High and I could tell many were going down the wrong path. Once we hit High school our childhood was over and everyone split up basically. One of my dear friends diapered from school and many rumors were spread about her. like how she tried to murder another friend then got pregnant and lost her baby then went to jail and after getting out became a prostitute. I doubt the rumors are true. Another friend got pregnant her sophomore year and left school. Her boyfriend was the mature one and she was always cheating on him and breaking up with him. She really needs to grow up. Another friend in my group was just hanging out with all the wrong people and stating to change her looks and just acted like a spoiled brat around everyone. She was very Rude to me. My sophomore year everyone was falling apart. The boy I had loved for four years passed suddenly away and just a week after he died my so called friend just came out and asked me if i still loved him and told me to get over it already. I forgave her but after that day I stopped talking to her. My other friend in my little group has been one of my best friends since summer before Jr. High. She stated changing too. got into smoking and drugs and fighting. My friends were always the talk of the school. I got a call from her one day telling me she was kicked out of school for doing drugs in the school bathroom and then she told me she had gotten into a fight and punched a girl and now needed to go to court. Then she asked if she could move into my home because her aunt and uncle were getting a divorce and she was depressed being left home all alone all day. I asked my parents and they prayed about it and decided she could after speaking to her Aunt. Her life has literally been a Rollar coster and has gone through hair school and such but the sad thing is she doesn't have her licence yet. She failed the test four times and now has given up and works at a grocery store and lives with a bunch of immature children who can't take care of themselves or their apartment. I still talk to her and think of her as my sister. My last friend just decided to stop talking to me. I would call and txt but she wouldn't want to hang out with me because I was The goody good angle of the group who expected more from her. she stated changing just like the rest of them. Immodest clothing and piercings and swearing in every sentence trying to act cool. She used to be so sweet and innocent and now has been corrupted by what the world defines as cool and beauty.  But what hurts the most right now is that I was thinking all this and how my friends from Jr. High had changed sooo much over the years that I decided to contact my last friend to see how she was and I found to My Horror that my Last friend has been missing for Three Days. on the fourth day She contacted her mom that she was in another state and she just up and left without a word. Its crazy how time goes by so Fast and things Change so much and how people change. Sweet, Innocent children grow up. its important to raise them right. But everyone has a choice. I can't change my friends into the same seventh grade version of them. I have to let them go and make mistakes and pray that they finally grow up and hopefully learn from their mistakes...


Please don't let the world get you down. You are beautiful. You don't need to dress a certain way or Talk in a certain way or even need to change your standards to fit in. You are as god made you and you are Perfect inside and out. Don't let the word decide for you. You are Perfect. Tell your Loved Ones how much they mean to you Today and Live each day Like its your Last. Laugh as much as you breach and write down your memories because days will fly by and people will change for good or for bad. This time is a beautiful precious Gift and that's why its called the present. With all this evil in the world, destructing, famine, war and pure hate, I can still find beauty in the smallest places. This world is beautiful and I still believe there is great good in the hearts of men. Sometimes change needs to be made about certain things but we cannot change others. All we can do is look in the Mirror and Hope others are looking in it as well. 

THE BATTLE

THE BATTLE 

Two Wolves lived once in peace

all who lived with them thought this was paradise 

but sadly there was something missing

a final piece needed to be set

so then came the plan and something was to now be decided

The leader was to decide

and choose which wolf to send

the first was willing to follow every command

the second had his own plan

the battle was fought

and these two brothers were divided

the battle was over and 

the second brother was cast out of paradise 

sadly the true battle had only begun

the two sides still fight to this day

and live inside each of us

one to devour and one to save 

and you've heard this story many times

its not just a simple tale 

and you know the answer to which will win

the one you feed.

   

CONFIDENCE...In YOURSELF....

The time will come when you will ask the question "What have I done with my Life?" Your life will be almost over and your grave already dug. Its a sad fact were all dying and getting closer and closer to the end. Many will ask the question and wonder WHY? Why didn't I go for my dreams and spend more time with family then working on my career? Why didn't I take that leap of faith and travel and explore and swim with the sharks? Why didn't I forgive my friend? Why did I care so much about how others saw me and spend all that money on useless things when I could have spent it on my education or on something more meaningful? Why didn't I take the time to get to know my parents while they were still around? Why did I waste my Time on the things in life that don't Matter? why?

There are a thousand reasons WHY we Ask The question WHY... and a lot of the times we know the reason...the answer is simple- (We make excuses)  We don't always see how much time we waste doing the things that don't matter.... like watching television or working late hours or simply drinking ourselves to death at a random bar even falling into addictions. There is a way out of those distractions if you take the time out to help yourself become the person you want to be. Don't Make any more excuses and find yourself asking Why?   START NOW.... Don't waste another precious moment.......
Let not the time pass and find yourself asking the questions WHY... WHY NOT DECIDE TODAY TO LIVE.....?

TAKE THE RISK AND FALL....... You might find out you can FLY......

Start writing down in a journal your Goals and dreams and how to accomplish those dreams. Do something everyday that makes you feel alive and grateful and joyful to be alive.  DON'T waste another minute because time does slip away....... 

You can do Great things. You are worth it.....

People don't always care. its true and life sucks sometimes. My advise change yourself. Decide to be the person you want to be. 
no one else matters. All that matters is how you see yourself.

When you do that people who care will come into your life but don't wait around and feel sorry for yourself when you find people don't care. Sometimes people don't always think about others. 

The Fact is you cant change others or but you can change yourself.
You cant expect people to know you right away or care right away. Because they probably feel the same way that you do and are scared and shy and afraid to get to know others. Choose to be happy today and tomorrow it'll come naturally. 
Don't care about what others think or if they care because there already thinking the same things you are. 
When your single all you see are the couples and when your a couple all you see is are the single people walking around. 
truth is you have more than one soul mate. so its possible to come across one of them. 
Take chances and be brave and SPEAK UP your VOICE matters and allow others to get to know you. 
Don't expect anyone else to talk first. you have to decide for yourself its what you want. you wanna be handsome or Beautiful then start acting like you already know you are and people will notice. 
If you really don't like how you look then change yourself. Life is too short to be wasting time wondering WHAT IF.
Tomorrow I'll get fit. Tomorrow I'll talk to that girl. Tomorrow I'll start studying and Tomorrow I'll be happy. TODAY is the day you start living the life you want. 
When you decide Today to be happy and go for those goals you will  find Success.
 SO Don't waste another minute and BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE. "The Things you tell the brain the most it will CREATE". So here's the question? After reading this what did you decide? 

HOW YOU CAN START....

1. Do something everyday that makes you feel alive and grateful to be alive

2. Keep a Dream journal. so you can remember the crazy things your brain thinks about when your asleep.

3.Keep a Goals Journal. Write down all your short term and long term goals and figure out how to accomplish those goals. 

4. Keep a Gratitude Journal so you can write down everyday what you are grateful for and why. You may find you had a better day then you thought.

5. Keep a Day Journal. To write down everything that happened that day so you can pass on your life to your children.

6. ALWAYS keep a small thought book in your pocket or bag so any quotes or thoughts you hear or find you can record. Any new goals or things your thankful for. so you won't forget. 

7. Always keep on you a small Camera to capture the moments. Maybe even a small video camera like an I-Flip to capture those funny moments. The truth is we don't remember Days but we remember moments. 

8. Keep many Scarp books and record those amazing events.

9. Make time for the ones you Love because that's the way you show them your love. Time is the most precious Gift you can give someone. 

10. Understand Success is not Given. The key to Success is Hard WORK. but don't forget to play. 

11. KEEP A CALENDER and Maybe even a planner. Because an organized day is a much easier day. You can't Expect the unexpected but you can plan to be surprised. 

Take each day one at a Time and Laugh as much as you can. Some days can feel overwhelming but just slow down and breath and write a list of importance and take each task one at a time. 

The KEY to happiness is choice...Choose to Be Happy Today 

Find the balance. A Healthy Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Self

Knowledge is the only thing that can give anyone power. So read many books and know how the world works. You are intelligent, successful and  worth it. 

Just Figure the rest out...... You can diffidently no doubt in my mind do it.

.....When the time comes don't ask WHY but WOW what a Life I have Lived..... 

Rules of importance

Love God-Love Others-Love Yourself

God Fist-You SECOND and World Third

pay God-Pay yourself then pay Bills.

Don't always look for the rainbow at the end of the storm but enjoy the rain and sounds and dance, sing, and Laugh because before you know it the darkness will have lifted of your shoulders and the sun will shine and beautiful colors clothed around you for comfort and you will feel grateful to have surpassed the storm. 

some people pursue happiness and others decide to just create it. 

  

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT........

The food you eat can be the safest form of medicine 

or the slowest form of poison

EAT LESS CRAP...

C-Carbonated Drinks

R-Refined Sugars

A-Artificial Sweeteners & Colors

P-Processed Foods

Our World Has changed grammatically for good and for not so good. We are surrounded by technology. We hear and see cars everyday filling our lungs and atmosphere with gas and pollution. I am not saying Cars cause global warming. that's another issue. Scientists are always battling if Global warming is true or not or if the earth is always in a warming or cooling cycle. The Fact is we are polluting our beautiful planet. Cars are necessary and beneficial but many are driving their verticals just around the corner when they could take those five minutes and walk and get exercise.  There are many things that are poising our bodies and minds. its all around us from the water we drink to the appliances we use. Knowledge is key when it comes to a healthy body and mind. Our bodies are built to eat Raw Organic Natural Foods and not the foods you find cooked, baked and fried. Those fast foods can kill us. A raw diet can heal us. Now if you don't believe me then check out these books and films I have arranged below. Your doctors are not trained to heal us but to prescribe for us. A Doctor is trained in the medical field and not in the nutritional field. They get little if any training in Nutrition. LET FOOD BE THY MEDICINE AND MEDICINE BE THY FOOD. You are what you eat literally. 

The food you eat does matter. There is so many vitamins and minerals that people are just not getting in their diet. when someone is sick they seek a doctor and get prescribed pills and never even consider that their diet and environment is the very thing making them sick Ans Doctors never prescribe changing their diet. THERE IS NO MONEY in prescribing lifestyle change and nutrition.

No one wants to change. People are getting sicker not healthier and medicine is not helping nutrition is. The Government has made it a law that only Radiation,Chemo and Surgery can cure cancer and that isn't True. Those can only slow down the process if the treatments haven't already killed you. There is not money for those industries in promoting Nutrition. If everyone knew that there already is a cure for all cancer's and all allergies any illnesses they wouldn't be getting any profit. There is one pill for every sickness but that is not how the body works. You Must stimulate the healing mechanism in your body and when you do it doesn't just heal one thing but your entire body is healed. Your body is already trying its best to heal itself by releasing  toxins from sweat glands and other means but we block it with deodorant. we stink don't we? of course we stink our bodies are filled with (CRAP). The only way we can heal our bodies is through a Raw organic Natural lifestyle. I am just hitting the TIP of the Ice Burg on this. There is so much you don't know and most people wouldn't take the time to find out because they don't want to change. You have no idea how sick and bad you feel until after you are rid of all those toxins and poisons. 

Our World was once Pure and Now its fighting just to stay alive. Our Water, Land and Air are not what they once were and it's affecting all living things. Our landfills are pilling up with unnecessary plastic and Styrofoam materials that are also filling our oceans and killing our wildlife. Its a really sad thing to find not only our earth is sick but so are we. I'll talk more about this subject another time but I just wanted to get the very tip of the iceberg out there. 

 About the Gerson Therapy

The Gerson Therapy is a natural treatment that activates the body’s extraordinary ability to heal itself through an organic, vegetarian diet, raw juices, coffee enemas and natural supplements.
With its whole-body approach to healing, the Gerson Therapy naturally reactivates your body’s magnificent ability to heal itself – with no damaging side effects. This a powerful, natural treatment boosts the body’s own immune system to heal cancer, arthritis, heart disease, allergies, and many other degenerative diseases. Dr. Max Gerson developed the Gerson Therapy in the 1930s, initially as a treatment for his own debilitating migraines, and eventually as a treatment for degenerative diseases such as skin tuberculosis, diabetes and, most famously, cancer.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR............LOOK FOR THE TRUTH ABOUT HEALTH
KNOWLEDGE IS KEY......................................

Why is a Raven like a writers desk?

Why is a Raven like a writers desk?

if a Raven were ever thought of so

would it be the raven is like the desk 

or the desk like the raven

maybe even the knowledge even associated  

with the desk. but a Raven is a clever bird

maybe the raven is more like the wisdom 

from working at such a desk

but a writers desk is just a desk 

and the words written come from the person

not the tool. the tool only helps one such wise person

so the Raven is a wise knowledge seeking individual

and is associate's with the writers desk. or is it the other 

way around and the raven is being thought about and

written about or maybe the raven is used as a tool 

in some manor.  

Why is a Raven like a writers desk?

is there any answer at all 

there is no answer for the bird didn't call 

and the desk wasn't written on 

and the author didn't say

so maybe the Raven is not as important 

as the question itself 

that the desk and the raven are just that

Part of the story. 

The Tulip

Tulips are my favorite flower

I never knew quite why

Till I thought of their creator 

and with realization almost cried.

Tulips are my favorite flower

not just any type

but the brightly colored yellow hues

Shining like the sun

Reminding me of gods

Great gift of life and his

Only begotten son.

Surrounded in soft greens

Of comfort and blankets of

Silken leaves, to open with

Tender care so we may peak

At a glimpse of its great beauty

And realize he’s always there.

The tulip has great strength

Protected by the sod

Till clipped, bowed and presented

To someone deserving of such abundant beauty

Only to wither away once cut.

The beauty of a Tulip cannot last

The Tulip had to die

So we may discover the treasure

Once offered deep inside.

The tulip will last forever

Always in my heart

For the tulip was created by our father

A gift of everlasting life

And that’s why

The Tulip is my favorite flower

For it all began with god

Who gave me this precious gift

To share with everyone. 

Dark Mirrors 5#

Dr. Carl M. Burlington- I am glad to see you have come back this week Molly. Your mother said you have gotten so much better since our last visit. 
Anna- I have never felt better Dr. Burlington but please call me Anna.  

TO BE CONTINUED.....

Dark Mirrors 4#

        The light thud of footsteps made Molly's heart skip in her chest. A shadow passed outside the door. "Anna?" she asked. She recognized the light breathing and the shuffle of her sisters feet. The figure moved slowly away. Molly stepped carefully out of her bed, keeping her head down as she passed the small round mirror hanging on her wall. Curiosity filled her as she passed the mirror, but her fear kept her from looking into it to see what was there.
         She stepped out into the dark hallway and walked quickly , but quietly down the staircase to the main floor. After rounding the corner she opened the door that led to the basement. "Anna?"
Anna must have gone downstairs, she had to stop her. Each stair creaked underneath her footsteps. The air getting thicker and thicker like stealing the air from her lungs while she descended into the darkness. "Anna?" she whispered. She heard nothing but her own feet shaking. She reached the bottom and stretched her fingers up to pull on the light switch that connected to the lamp hanging on the ceiling. She saw nothing but the dark mirror covered with a white sheet. Her fingers shook and dripped with sweat; she would find her sister no matter what.
       Molly pulled the big white sheet from the mirror and looked at the image of her twin. Her twin smiled back at her before cocking her head sideways. Their relationship had changed then. Her sister was gone into the mirror. Molly reached out to touch the mirror, then pulled back in utter horror. Her mind started to recall what she was doing. She was back downstairs in front of the mirror. She tried to move but her legs wouldn't allow it. Her twin leaned forward. Her face distorted into an evil sneer.  She tried to scream but she could hear nothing coming out of her throat. She tried to turn and run but stumbled backward from hitting a wall. Not a wall but the mirror. She screamed soundlessly and pounded on the invisible surface as she watched the creature with her face smiling back from the other side. She looked behind her and saw nothing. Just blackness. Molly turned back to Anna and she just smiled back at her and reached up and turned off the light as she walked back up the stairs. 

Dark Mirrors 3#

Dr.Carl M. Burlington- How are you today Molly and how have you been since our last visit.
Molly- I don't know? (5 sec pause)- I am seeing things more and hearing strange things.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- what kind of things?
Molly- My mother wont let me cover my mirrors and i see shadows and hear foot steps when they shouldn't be there. You told me in our last session the things i see are not real but I've been coming to you for almost three months and nothing has changed. I don't feel safe in that home.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- How is your sister?
Molly- She is fine. shes mad that she cant come with me to my therapies. She doesn't think I'm crazy. She believes me now. She wants me to face my fear and go into the basement. My parents are not speaking to her. Anna said its because they don't like that she believes in me. 
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- what other things have you been seeing?
Molly- (Ten sec pause) you really don't want to know.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Why do you not want me to know?
Molly- If i speak of them aloud then they wont just appear in my mind but be able to leave it and come into the world through the mirrors. I am the only one who have seen them because I was the first to step into the house. The house is part of me. (Seven second pause) I cant escape them.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- So you are telling me that the house is attached to you and----Molly- What is the point of this Carl? Your not helping me. your making it worse for me. The longer I am gone from the house the more that happens to me when I return.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- You don't hear or see things when outside the house?
Molly- It hasn't happened yet but I feel the need to return. My head hurts from being apart from the house. I don't want to come see you anymore.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- I am sorry to hear you don't want to come see me anymore but Molly you are sick and need my help.
Molly- I am not SICK I AM HAUNTED and I wont come see you.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- What kinds of things happen when you return home Molly?
Molly- At night when others are asleep I--- (five second pause) -- I find myself being dragged off my bed and forced to the basement. The Tall Dark Mirror is downstairs. I don't know what it wants from me. I hear howls and morning and screams and all sorts of terrible things.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington-What do you see at night?
Molly- I see Monsters Carl. I see Nightmares and creatures.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Will you describe them for me?
Molly- I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I cant set them free. I Cant Allow them to come through. It cant happen I wont let it happen and that's why I must return. They become stronger when I am gone and they become stronger the closer they get me to the mirror.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Did this mirror come with the home.
Molly- Yes it is attached to the down stairs wall. I already asked my parents to get rid of it but they can't and its too late to move. My head hurts Doc.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Its OK will continue next week Molly.
Molly- I wont be coming Carl.

Dark Mirrors.2#

Dr. Carl M. Burlington- so why are you here today Molly?
Molly- I am not quite sure.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Do you want to be here?
Molly- I am not quite sure.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Do you want to get better?
Molly- I am not quite sure I can.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Your mother is worried about you.
Molly- 5 second pause. ( I am aware.)
Dr. Carl M. Burlington-Tell me about your sister?
Molly- I love my sister she is my best friend.
Dr.Carl M. Burlington- What is her name?
Molly- Anna, Anna is her name.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- What is your first memory of your sister?
Molly- Well that is a silly question sir because I was just a baby.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- What is your first memory?
Molly- We were playing and it was raining. (7 second pause) (sigh) Anna wanted to play in the mud but i didn't. I was very small and cold. She told me she would take me inside and that we would play hide and go seek. She said we would play this game all the time and that I would never be without her. Anna is a very kind sister and has always looked after me. (pause) well not today. 
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- What do you mean not today?
Molly- She didn't come with me sir. She said she couldn't leave and that I had to come back to her. 
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- What do your parents think about your sister?
Molly- They love Anna but they have been worried about me and haven't been paying any attention to her. My father made a joke a few weeks ago and asked me who she was. It is funny that they would mess with me. 
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Do you see Anna every day?
Molly- She is my sister. I see her all the time. In the morning and at night and even sometimes in my dreams. 
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Do you have nightmares every night?
Molly- I don't know. My mother wakes me from what she calls a night terror. I am covered in sweat and I have even woken to her holding down my arms. I cant remember the dreams or how long they last but I know I am scared. 
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Does Anna appear in your nightmares?
Molly- I do remember a few night mares and Anna has been only in one. The dream starts out in our new house and the lights are flickering all around me. My room is at the top of the stairs but no matter how hard I climb and how fast I cant reach the top. I am slipping and falling into the basement. Anna is at the top of the stairs screaming and yelling for me. She is holding out her hands but once I reach for her the Dark Mirror is before me and my hand is pressed up against the glass gazing into my reflection and I am frozen. Then I wake up.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Do you have this dream a lot?
Molly- I've had it a few times.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- what does Anna look like?
Molly- She looks like me.
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- That will be all for today Molly. I will see you next week.
Molly-will you ask me about my parents next week instead of my sister?
Dr. Carl M. Burlington- Maybe.


Notes
Patient- Molly Alexandra Allen 
Shows signs of anxiety disorders and lack of trust.
Possible Schizophrenic
Possible Night Terror candidate
Shows signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder  
Patients mother agrees to more sessions and possible treatments after 
verification of disorders. 
Patients mother is also asking for medication for her daughter as soon as possible

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Allen 
Here is a short copy of my first session with Molly. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to call me at my office phone number you received by email. I will diagnosis Molly next session and work more with her. I am confident more work with her will benefit her condition. Please keep notes and a daily log about what she does and says so I may further confirm my diagnosis. 
Thank you 
Sincerely Dr. Carl M. Burlington

Dark Mirrors. 1 #

        She stared at the ceiling, frightened that if she looked at them, they would pull her in again. No one had believed her, but she knew the truth. If you stared into one of them for too long your body would move on its own. Each time she ended up walking down the basement and come to stand in front of the tall dark mirror with the scary faces etched into the metal frame. The first time it had happened to her, her sister had pushed her to be funny pulling her out of the trance. The second time her dad had come up behind her and scared her also breaking the trance. She knew she was only thirteen, but what she had seen the second time she had come to the big black mirror was not all in her imagination.
        She begged her family to believe her, but neither her parents nor sister took it seriously. The mirror haunted every dream and constantly waking her from night terrors. Her mother would try to wake her from the terrible dreams but couldn't.
         Still both her parents ignored the signs that even the regular mirrors around the home seemed to be watching her. She couldn't stair too long into any mirror for fear she would be entranced and her body like a doll controlled by stings. Her parents ignored her and even made jokes about her sister.
        Finally one day at dinner her mother asked her if she would like to travel to the city with her and meet a man named Dr. Carl M. Burlington. She didn't quite understand. Her mother reassured her and said they would be leaving in the next few days and that it wouldn't be more than a few hours in the car. Her father said that this Dr. could help her and give her the medication she needed to sleep and relax. She didn't need medication.
          All she wanted was for her family to believe her and believe that something was very wrong about this new house her father had bought. Her mother was truly excited about the mother daughter trip even more so then when her father had told her the price he had paid for the house and property.
     She said goodnight to her mother and father and asked for her sister to come up to bed with her. Her parents just stared at each other and looked really puzzled. Her mother stood up and gave her a hug and said she would be better soon.
      She walked up the stairs looking only at her feet since one mirror was placed on the wall walking up. She told her sister not to look into the mirror.
     Before getting into bed she closed her eyes while covering her vanity mirror with a blanket. She was satisfied with herself and climbed into bed with her sister.
    She was was scared about visiting a Dr. and being forced to take pills like some insane person.
Her parents didn't believe her and her sister never stood up for her. Her sister knew something about the mirrors but never said anything about them.
        Her father was wrong for moving her out here and buying this empty old home. Her mother was wrong about her needing a doctor and her sister was wrong for not standing up for her. She couldn't take it much longer. The nightmares, Night terrors, and the mirrors pulling her in. She wanted the Dark Mirror in the basement to disappear and maybe the other mirrors would return to normal and she could look and see her reflection. Maybe just Maybe it would finally end.

Pain.....

Have you ever thought that pain is a gift?

I have…

The pain from a wound and

The pain from the heart

I would love to reject the gift of feeling

To never feel pain and never be hurt

What if the world never felt anguish?

What a sad world it would be

To never feel pain

Pain holds us together

It does not tear us apart

Pain allows for compassion to seep

Into the hearts of men

It allows for happiness to be noticed

It allows us to feel other emotions

That we cannot live without

Pain is a gift

A gift from god

Without the pain

We would have no feeling of health

No feeling of joy

No feeling of compassion

No empathy or concern

No consideration or kindness

No love

We would be empty without feeling

The loss of physical pain is not as great

As the numbness of the heart

Someone without feeling of agony, heartache

And grief cannot relate to others.

Pain ... I do find discomfort in saying the word

Why does it scare me so?

I do not fear physical pain

The breaking of an arm or ribs

The aching of bones and or a throbbing head

Is nothing compared to the shattering

Of my heart

The sting creeping into my core

Is too much to handle

So I hold in my emotions

And I lock them away in a glass bottle

The bottle is always drifting away with

The current but

Always coming back with the tide

My lungs can’t breathe in the air

The pain in my chest is too much to bare.

I’m drowning in tears of pain

Is it too much to ask for someone to care

I can’t take much more

The glass bottle will break

And inside my heart will be set free

Finally able to breath

Feeling pain is what makes us…

Human…

We can't hold in the pain for long

we need to release it so we can finally 

heal and only then

can we feel good once again

Emotions are gifts

Pain is only part of it.....

Let go of the pain 

and only then can

you finally begin to

heal.... 

I Feel Like Your Forgetting

I Feel like your Forgetting

its happens all the time

we used to talk for hours

even sing a hymn or rhyme

We used to take long walks

and just sit and talk, no cares

but now you are forgetting

completely unaware

We used to go to movies

and hold each others hands

you'd tell me its not scary

then scare me right there and then

but now you are forgetting

so I sit alone and sigh

because a crowded theater

is no place to run and hide

I feel like your forgetting

slipping away with each passing day

I wish you could remember

 then maybe you'd just stay

I feel like your forgetting

drifting down a stream

I want to call you out

and maybe even scream

but you cant hear my cries

so i start to sob and sink

and even believe you might save me

but you hardly even blink 

I feel like your forgetting

you used to call each night

we would talk for hours

a real conversation we used to have

but now you hardly call

with only six minutes on the line

 I feel like your forgetting

it just might be true this time

you used to make me dinners

but now we dont do anything

you just make empty promises

to take me when you have the time

I feel like your forgetting

do you even know me anymore

we used to always be together

but now you've slipped my grasp

you seem to forget

each time you commit

to a promise never to be kept

I'm tired of waiting for calls that never come

I'm tired of promises loosely strung

I feel you are forgetting

I used to love to visit

precious was our time

but now when I visit

you say I'll be over by late Nine

I think you are forgetting

we used to spend entire days

but now I'm even lucky

to get a small fraction of your time 

I dont feel important

enough to you 

maybe its not true

but that's how i feel

I feel you are forgetting

I watch by my window

and think why'd I even come

because out on the street

your with another one

I think you are forgetting

you forget to write and call

sometimes not even a reply

its hard to think why

I think you are forgetting

maybe its all in my mind

but when i see you with her

i get jealous deep inside

and you tell me you'll never

be jealous to see me with

another guy

do you even love me

do you even care

because i think you are forgetting

completely unaware

that i truly love you

but its not enough to simply state

i show you this through actions

i hope you realize it each day

because I'm thinking of you

with each second passing by

and think maybe hes thinking of me

but then i sink and cry

because I feel you are forgetting

I'm not sure of anything anymore

this distance is killing us

its torturing me to the core

inside i feel so torn up

confused with deep thoughts

I feel you are forgetting

and when you tell me

the time will come

you'll see

you will have already forgotten

just forgotten me...

 

Thoughts of a Lone Wolf

Photo by LunaWolf445

WAY TOO LATE TO BE WRITING

Once Upon a time
its a story line
but also a ridiculous rhyme.

Once upon a time there lived a -------------
And they lived Happily ever after----------

Maybe someday someone will write-- Once Upon a time--- at exactly 6 AM there lived a ---ordinarily looking women, ---yes she was alive at one time--- this isn't just fiction and then she died and I guess it was once a happy ending but it didn't take into affect her death. Ha HA not so funny----------------

OK here's a story for you....................................

Once Upon a time there lived a tree and the tree was the smallest in the forest and one day Santa came looking for a Christmas tree to put in the North Pole square for all the elves to decorate.  Roughdough the red nosed reindeer came on this quest with Santa and they both searched for many hours. Roughdough then  saw the little tree and loved it so much that he wanted to show Santa. The little tee was so excited that he might be chosen for that years Christmas tree. so the tree waited patiently in anticipation. Then Santa stood towering over the little tree and smiled while he looked down.  Santa opened his mouth and said  Naaa hes way too small, smaller even then the elves. Roughdough agreed and peed on the tree. THE END

Definitely not a Happily Ever After story. :)

I'll forget this moment....

I'll forget this moment
the brain cant store it all
all this information
its clouded by a wall
History and fantasy
its all jumbled by my brain
so I'll forget this moment
its scares me to even say
my brain didn't find you important
so you just cant stay
I'll forget this moment
its a sad phrase to even read
the brain is a giant storage
so many files already lost
time can only tell which
information will be safe
so I'll forget this moment
my memories cant stay forever
there stuck deep down a well
my memories a drowning
its all becoming too insane 
my brain cant take the leakage
so i must unplug the drain
so I'll forget this moment
my brain is too full for thoughts
there tangled by too many knots
the wires cant be cut
the maze is too complicated
its too late to save them all
its too late to make the choice
which memory is to fall
so I'll forget this moment
the path is set ahead and
the past is forgotten
its all lost inside my head
the forest is thick
and my mind is sick
so dark and dim
too late to chance it on a whim
so I'll forget this moment
the senses cant catch it all
there focus is set with
too many memories caught by a damaged net
its impossible, they just cant be kept
so I'll forget this moment
as insignificant as it was
I wish i could just remember
the time it all became so true

the feelings deep inside me
want to know it all
but i know the brain can store it all
its not lost im just unable to recall
so I'll forget this moment
I hope those words wont become true
so maybe one day
when time is still
and my mind is at peace
I'll find you in my dreams
and take gentle caution and care
to ensure this precious memory of you is safe
kept secret in my brians safe
where you'll stay hidden from the world
just a distant memory
clouded by a thick wall
always to wonder if you ever a dream at all. 

Dont forget the Angels

Just some old quotes I found in one of my old notebooks.

In this dim world of clouding cares,
we rarely know, till wilder'd eyes 
see white wings lessening up
the skies, the angels with us 
unaware.  
(Gerald Massey)
(1828-1907)

He shall give 
his angels charge
over thee, to keep
thee in all thy ways.
Psalm 91:11

I have seen angels by the sick one's pillow;
Theirs was the soft tone and the soundless tread,
where smitten hearts were drooping like the willow,
they stood between the living and the dead. (Unknown)

Beside each man who's born on earth a guardian angel
takes his stand, to guide him through life's mysteries. 
(Menander of Athens)Greek poet and play writer.(C.343-291.B.C) 

Four angels to my bed,
four angels round my head,
one to watch and one to pray
and two to rear my soul away.
(Thomas Ady) 
17th century English writer

when tempted, evoke your 
angel, he is more eager 
to help you than you are to 
be helped! Ignore the devil, 
and not be afraid of him.
He trembles and flees at your
 guardian angels sight.
(St.John Basco 1845-1888)

There are angels, that attend unseen each one of us,
and in great books record our good and evil deeds.
he who writes down the good ones, after every action, closes his volume, and ascends with it to god, the other keeps his dreadful day, which doing, the record of action fades away, and leaves 
line of white across the page.
(Henry W. Longfellow American poet 1807-1882) 

Angels.... with beautiful wings of silk & crowns of baby rosebuds... all live together in a castle...and when the angels want to go some place they just whistle and a cloud floats to the castle door and picks them up and the angels ride through the sky, riding the cloud like a magic carpet under the moon and through the stars until they're right above us. That's how they can look down and see if were alright, and sometimes even send us messages.
(The Little Princess) 



Stone walls do not a prison make
nor iron bars a cage;
Minds inncocent and quiet take 
that for a heritage; If I have 
Freedom in my love, and in soul
am free, angels alone that soar above 
enjoy such liberty.
(Richard Lovelace)
(1618-1657)English poet. 

Self is the only prison that can ever find the soul;
love is the only angel who can bid gates unroll;
and when he comes to call thee arise and follow fast;
its way may lie though darkness, but leader to light at last.
(Henry Van Dyke 1822-1891 writer)

There is music even in the beauty 
and the silent note which cupid strikes 
far sweeter than the sound of an instrument.
(Thomas Browne)

I want to be an angel
and with the angels stand,
a crown upon my forehand 
a harp within my hand. 
(Vrania Bailey 1820-1882)

Let but the voice 
engender the string
and angels will come
while thou dost sing.
(Robert Herrick 1591-1674)  

Stay in the light 
and on the path
for the in-between 
seek to devour your soul
and only stepping forward
can keep them at bay. 
(Lily Kann) 

Definition of an angel

one of a class of spiritual beings; a celestial attendant of God. In medieval angelology, angels constituted the lowest of the nine celestial orders (seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominations or dominions, virtues, powers, principalities or princedoms, archangels, and angels).

a conventional representation of such a being, in human form, with wings, usually in white robes.

a messenger, especially of God..

a person who performs a mission of God or acts as if sent by God: an angel of mercy.

a person having qualities generally attributed to an angel, as beauty, purity, or kindliness.